Untitled 96

-facepalm-
Now I feel like a douche for posting that last note.
asdlkfha;dvklsdjv;ioshg.


Whatever.
xDD


Speed Racer's amazing.
And I had fun.
I mean, you know, as much fun as you can have at a movie.
But you know.
(:


Tell Jared to hush next time, please.
xD

Untitled 95

I'm not sure you realize what you're doing.
You're distancing yourself from me.
-shrug-
I mean, it's up to you.
And I'm assuming your motive is cause you don't want to have to fall all over again.
You know...
I don't really care right now what the reason is.


....
It's whatever.


It's amazing how you say one thing about us, and whatever we decide to do becomes the opposite.
Completely amazing.

Untitled 94

...
You're being distant.
And I think I said that in the note last night.
I can't really remember.


Here's something to think about.
Since I know you're afraid of hurting me.


You'd be hurting me more by letting me go and leaving
than you would be by staying.


I just figured that's one of the things on your mind.
Since I know you're fighting with yourself about friday night.
Which you know, you really should calm down about.
...But us being this close and then you walking away-AGAIN-would break me.
Nothing I can't handle.
But yeah.
....


And I don't mean to scare you, either.
Just...
Trying to figure out your mental battle and throw in some notes that may help.
-epicsigh-

Untitled 93

...
I don't know.
You're acting really weird.
It's like...
Creeping me out.



Just talk to me.
Before both of us go nuts.
Please.



-epicfuckingsigh-

Untitled 92

-epicsigh-
Somehow I saw that coming.


Hmm, laying there with you that night was....
perfect.
Amazing.
Wonderful.
All of that.
hsdlgjsdgjkashflg.
Yeah, it was right and wrong.
But...
What isn't like that with us anymore?
...and if it feels right, then, chances are, it probably is.
-____-


I feel really lost now.
Again.
I'm not sure which direction things are going in now.
And I'm...
Well...
This particular moment, I'm not real sure of anything.


And I know you've been avoiding talking to me about that night.
But uhh...
I think it's time for you to spill it, before you get all lakdghladkg on me.


-sigh-
Don't do this again.
Get us here and then flip out and run off.
Please.


And as out of place as this may sound...
I love you.

Untitled 91

I enjoyed today.
Even if it was for like, 20 minutes or something.
(:


You've got a lot on your mind.
And I thought you were going to go wonky on me earlier on the phone.
...Well.
You kind of did.


I wish you'd tell me what you have to say.
You can say it.
It won't scare me away.
I won't judge you.
You can trust me.
You know that.


I know it's hard to say things.
But I've managed to say them to you.
And you'll feel a lot better once you've got it all out there in the open.
Seriously.


Oh, and your flashbackwhateverthing about the you-know-what.
That too.
D:


J, I'm afraid of losing you again.
Because of you holding so much inside.
That's why it scares me.
You can't handle bottling everything up inside, so you just run off and hope that'll help.
Then you feel like shit for running off.
And it starts all over again.
...I know.
Don't do that.


Talk to me.
I know you can.
(:


I love you.



...and that's koishiteru wa.
xD

<3

Untitled 90

I love you.
I need you.
You're what keeps me alive.
Please don't do this.
...Please.
=[



...It's so wrong...and so right...
> >;

Untitled 89

I'm assuming you passed out when you got to Cynthia's.
Hopefully you'll get some rest.


You looked really blah earlier.
Like, exhausted to the max.
But it looked like there was something wrong.
I know you said you were thinking last night, and said this morning it was about me, but that's as far as you got.
What's on your mind?


So, I know you're moving stuff tomorrow.
And I may or may not be there.
But I was thinking we should do something.
I have no idea what.
But I'll let you call the shots, cause it kinda depends on a lot of things.
And I don't want you to freak out on me again.


I still want to know what that flashback was.
But I guess we can't have everything we want, right?
I'm okay with that.
-shrug-


Aishiteru wa.
<3

Untitled 88

Just for the record...

I feel like a total moron for posting the last two notes.
-cracks up-
Man.
I srsly thought the note was coming.



....Maybe we should try to get together and see what happens.
Yes? No?
-sigh-

...

So now I can't sleep in my bed.
I moved to the floor, but that makes me think too much.
Wonder which of us is worse off.


-wanders around aimlessly-

Untitled 87

I'm sorry about earlier.
I don't know why I'm apologizing, but I am.
=/


So, I feel lost.
And I'm pretty sure I know what's coming next.
I almost want you to go ahead and say it and get it over with, cause the suspense is killing me.
But I really don't know if I could handle it again.


I feel like I don't even know what I'm saying.
I'm just...
Blank.


What made you flip out so bad?
And if it makes you feel any better, I have flashbacks all the time.
And yes, they bother me.
You know, the uneven breathing and the sharp stomach pains.
They're not as bad as they used to be though.


...Maybe you'd be better if Jared wasn't around?
I don't know.
Don't fall apart on me again, please.
=[

<3

Untitled 86

So.
I've been thinking a lot the last couple days, about how things are going between us.
And there's something I realized.


We've been talking a month now.
You know we haven't fought about anything?
Seriously.
I think that's a record.


Apparently you've done a lot of thinking or something.
You seem "lighter" than you were before.
I know you've still got a lot on your mind all the time, but you seem not so messed up about it.
I don't know.
But something's different.
With you.
With us.


And I know you have a lot on your mind now. [i sound like such a damn hypocrite now, after what I just said]
What with Andrew and all.
I know part of your dklfjalkdgness is me.
Please don't get too stressed out because of me.
=/


And if you need anything, I'm here.
You know where to find me.


And generally speaking, I'm proud of you.
=]


Hmm, i miss you.
<3